i feel like...

Monday, November 27, 2006

i have cool friends

I have the best friends in the world. Katy and Liz and Annie and Sarah came over tonight and we ate dinner and laughed and decorated for Christmas!
Actually I sat on the couch and Annie and Liz decorated my tree and Katy baked cookies
How awesome is that?

They are so wonderful.

Thursday, November 23, 2006


One of my best friends of life asked me if I thought I was a thankful person last night. My first reaction was like, of course! But the more I thought about it, I dont think I am truly thankful for what I have - I take SO much for granted

So here is my attempt at being thankful...

Top Ten Things I am Thankful for this Thanksgiving:

10. I have a car to go where I need to go - even though daily I pray that it gets totaled by someone other than me and that I can get a new one

9. I got to live in PA when the Steelers were da bomb...I just wish I would have moved to Cincy last year so that my smack talking would have been backed up

8. I have tivo so that I don't have to miss my shows because I am hanging out with fun peeps

7. I live in an awesome location and I get the possibility of fun roomates next year (you know who you are :))

6. I laugh probably over 100 times a day and I normally cry only like 3 times and its usually cause its tears of joy

5. I have met and love all my blog friends that I didn't know a year ago except in blog world.

4. I am still in my pajamas and its 11:00am and I love the Tday parade :)

3. I have one of the best jobs on the planet. I am so thankful for all my little kiddies that make me laugh and cry daily.

2. I have had the most amazing friends during every stage of my life...high school, college, Saranac, Altoona, and now Cincy. You are all amazing and wonderful and I am SO thankful for you

1. I have the best family in the whole world. They love me and will forever be on my side

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

when harry met sally

I was looking at some of Stef's pics and I found some super cute pictures.
It just made me miss her and I am SO excited to get to see her in 4 days!!!! I can't wait!
I found this picture and I just LOVED it.

I love these two little kiddies. They are best friends and LOVE to hang out with each other. They get crazy the whole day before they hang out because they are just so excited to play together. There is no weirdness, no underlying tension, no talk from anyone else...there is just pure friendship motivated by love.

When does this change?

When do we get to the point where girls and boys can't be friends without something else underlying that? I know in junior high girls and boys get cooties and you want to have nothing to do with them and then in high school you can't get off them. What is that?

I feel like I am just getting to the point in my life where I can be just friends with guys. Really? Cause I am 26. But seriously...Im not sure there was a guy that I had contact with that I wasn't like, hmmm...could I date them?

It's kind of fun because I feel like some of that has changed with me. I'm not sure what happened, but I really think that I can get to that point where Im like, they are really cool and be done with that thought then. Im not sure how or when or why that all changed, but I am so glad I can do that. I feel like I can have great conversations with guys and not think about all the things that I should have said. Or I can talk to them first and not feel weird or scared that they might think I have some crush on them or something.

So is it true??? Can girls and guys be friends like Maddie and Grif (cute kids above) or are we destined for some sort of tension? Is one always thinking about the other?

I'm just beginning to get to the point where the more I know...the more questions I have. It's not a fun place to be. Very thought provoking...but probably pretty annoying to be around cause I can't stop asking questions or thinking through stuff. ..
Why can't I just know everything in all the land :)

Monday, November 20, 2006


Im not sure there is anything more that I love in the world than good conversation. I CRAVE it when I dont have it and I get SO excited when I know its about to happen. Im so sad when it hasn't happened for awhile and I just wish I could be in constant conversation.

I just had some really great conversations this weekend and Im not sure what I would do without my friends. It is so so so so good for me to talk stuff outloud and for me to have word vomit and I just love that people allow me to do that. It helps me process and it encourages me to think deeper and it helps me come to some sort of conclusion. So thanks to all you great ones this weekend that I got to do that to and thanks for loving me and letting me be the most detailed talker on the planet.

ps. Thanks Katy for an AMAZING eating/laughing/talking night. You are the BEST!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

crap online

The words of Sarah Roche:
"You will be able to take a crap online here in a few years."
"You will also be able to have sex online...sh**...you can practically do it now
and it will take a digital picture and put it on your fing blog."
"Then it will say "Do you want a text message to your friend? Click yes or no."
"You can order marijuana seeds online...I'm not playing right now...I'll send you the website."

MY words while talking to Sarah:

It is amazing. You can shop for Christmas presents...check your driving record...pay all your bills in the world....stalk your neighbor...steal someone's identity! You can do anything!!!

You can buy a car...buy your groceries...get directions...I mean, what can't you do???

So the question of the day today is...

What CAN'T you do online?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


I forgot to pull my emergency brake and my car decided to roll down the parking lot and hit other cars.
I started crying to the tow truck man.
I cried in front of my kids and they are all freaking out
I need to get married.

high school

Every stage of my life I have LOVED. Ever since fourth grade, I had a feeling that every year from here on out will be better. (I had a rough incident with a turtleneck in fourth grade and was scarred for life *Katy)

What's awesome is that every single year since fourth grade I have loved my life more and more. In fifth grade I actually got friends and from then on out I kissed everyone's butt so that I could get in the sought after "ultra" group. Which was fun. (I do recognize that the only reason I was in is not based on my coolness, but on my butt kissing)

College was amazing - I had the most amazing roomates EVER! Im not sure anyone in the history of college has had more amazing roomates than I did. I loved my YL team that I lead with. I loved everything about it.

Altoona I loved as well. I didn't necessarily love the town (let's face it) but I LOVED the people. I LOVED the kids I worked with and I loved my boss and the leaders I worked with.

And now here we are. I LOVE my life now. I love the friends I've met and made...I love that I am SO close to Sean and Annie and Katy and Liz and Sarah. I love my kids in my classroom - more than I realized I would. I love it all.

What's funny is that I don't feel a TON different than I did back in fifth grade. I'm not quite sure that's a good thing. I definitely have learned so much about me and about God and about why I am the way I am. I've grown up in a ton of ways - but I have a ton of growing to do as well.

Today I'm sitting in my living room waiting for one of my co-workers to pick me up. My car is stuck at school - because its a piece and because this is what happens in my life - your car breaks down the night of parent teacher conferences when you are supposed to go home this weekend. It's cool though :)

I feel like I'm waiting for my ride to school. I'm wearing a sweatshirt and jeans and tennis shoes and I dont have makeup on cause I put it on in the car. I've become WAY more high maintenance than I was in high school and especially in college - but not to the point that I need a mirror to put on makeup.

So feeling like Im a high schooler this morning, I decided to tell you the top five reasons why I feel like Im still in high school and why I love that I'm not:

Top five reasons why I feel like Im still in high school:
5. Makeup on in the car
4. Sometimes hair drying in the car with the heater
3. I wake up late everyday
2. I want a dog more than anything
1. I want to be an ultra

Top five reasons why I love that I'm not:
5. I get along with my parents and love them tremendously
4. I don't have a curfew
3. Who cares if you're an ultra
2. No more double life...
1. I can buy a dog!!!

I just really hope God's not done growing me up yet. I feel like he's kicked my a this year, but its been SO good. Im just not sure I could have it better.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

coop dawg

One of the CUTEST kids in the world fell asleep on my arm today
There might not be anything better than a kid falling asleep on your arm and wanting to cuddle with you. Im actually positive that there isn't.

I LOVE that kids make you feel like a million bucks (or a rockstar as Neal would say) because they reach up and want YOU to pick them up and hold them. How great is that?

I would give anything if I could learn to love as easy and as authentic as an 18 month old.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


Sometimes I really get ticked off at Christians.

It takes SO much for me to get mad at someone and its just so easy for me to get mad at Christians. And lately I just get so mad at myself for getting so mad at them.

If I see someone wearing an annoying tshirt that says something like, I am saved by a blood transfusion, or I see a Jesus fish eating a Darwin fish on a car, or I hear how someone led someone else to Christ I just go crazy. But what's my problem??

Why do I go SO crazy with that. Why can't I love them with the same compassion that I have for people who dont love Jesus. Why is it easy for me to love someone who's a jerk to me at the store versus someone sitting across a room from me? And the only reason its hard for me to love them is because I totally disagree with everything they are saying.

Since when did my way become right?

Since when did I know all that there is to know in the world about Jesus and life and love?

Last time I checked I had a loooooooooong way to go.

Tonight I was thinking about how experience shapes SO much of the way we live and even the way we love. SO much. For instance, my Christian friends that I get so annoyed with, have had some positive experiences with cheesy tshirts and randomly walking up to someone, giving them a flower and asking them if they need prayer. and that's ok. I have not had any experience like that, but that doesn't mean that its wrong. at all. I just have had different experiences.

The way that I am wired and through my experiences in life, I see more value in authentic relationship with people than in "big butter" jesus' and just serving someone one time. I think there is value in both...my experience has just made one more valuable than the other. But why is mine right? and why is it so hard for me to not judge and to actually love someone when they say things that annoy the crap out of me and are againsy what I think is right? I just dont know where the balance is between wisdom and accountability and then allowing differences in ways to do ministry. Where's the line? Who's experiences are more valuable?