i feel like...

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Ray LaMontagne and Damien Rice

Props to Kev Jamison. LOVE this. Thanks Kev!

Monday, May 28, 2007

FAVES of Memorial Day Weekend!

(in no particular order!)

1. Sarah's BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAAY (and all that that entails...)
2. Taste of Cincy (x2)
2.b. Seeing Over the Rhine for FREE for 3 minutes and getting to hang out with a two year old
3. Marsha's birthday and fun festivities!
4. Buying 104 books for $29
5. REDS game - and meeting Blind Doug, Sweaty Brian and Quiet John AND seeing Kelly :)
6. D'Vine and good friends afterwards - who always bail you out and never make you feel weird about it :)
7. Pride and Prejudice AND How to Lose a Guy
8. Miamisburg Pool Opening day!! (minus the junior high kids who made me want to come up with an invention to rid a teenager of hormones)
8.b. The best hamburgers I've even eaten with the best friends
9. KICKBALL! (and being kinda sore today)
10. NO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a fun weekend! This might rank in my top 2 favorite weekends of 2007!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

In the Sun

I didn't really watch the video, but this song is my all time favorite.
AKA...song of the month

I'll let you know what it's doing in my heart when I figure it out

Monday, May 21, 2007

you choose

I love the movie The Wedding Date. The characters are very poorly developed, there isn't that intriguing of a plot, it's fairly predictable, but I love it. I think I love it because of some of the quotes in it. One of the quotes that sort of gets to me and that I've been thinking about a lot this weekend is when Debra Messing reads a quote that her male escort reported in a magazine:

"You choose what you want your love life to be."

And Debra Messing responds with, you think I WANT to be like this - bitter and angry and depressed??? And the male escort says "Yes."

I really have been analyzing that. Do we choose the way we want our love lives to be? Is it really not fate or destiny or something controlled by the stars? Is it a conscious choice that we make? Or is it some invisible defense mechanism that sometimes we don't even realize or see or even know.

When Stef and I were freshman in college we used to go to all these group meetings and activities and every cool, attractive, Christian guy we would see, we would refer to as our husbands. It was a bit immature looking back on it, but those were definite words that came out of our mouths and thoughts that occured in our heads.

This weekend I met my friend Amulya's boyfriend who was VERY cool. He asked me why I wasn't dating anyone and why I was still single. I was a bit thrown off by the question. (Let me just note that this guy asked WAY more questions than I have ever asked and that wasn't that weird of a question in context.) I didn't really have an answer for him and I've been sort of thinking about it ever since.

I had some pretty intense relationships in the past that I used to think were holding me back now. But they were in the loooong past. I used to think I was single so I could learn independence and so when I met a guy I wouldn't be dependent on him in an unhealthy way. I'm going on a few years of independence! I also used to think that I had to "fix" myself so that I would be someone that someone else could desire. Then I went on to thinking that I had to be doing "something" in order to get noticed. Or I was always just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or the right place at the wrong time. Or something like that.

I have now come to the conclusion that I don't have any of the answers. None of the things that I just mentioned seem to make sense and I'm not convinced that any of them are actual truth. I'm wondering if I'm choosing this in some unconscious/defense mechanism/scared to risk kind of way. Or if I just haven't met him yet. Or if I'm not going to meet him ever.

Can someone find a crystal ball or something? My brain is starting to hurt.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

what a brain can do

It's amazing what your brain is capable of doing

This weekend I saw a newspaper article saying people got killed because of an in-air collision. I immediately thought of my friend, the Braggster, and of course texted him, just to make sure. But, he didn't text back, so I call him later. No answer. And he doesn't call back. Then I text my friend Rose, ask if she's talked to Bragg, and also text Bragg again. Both of them of course think I am TOTALLY neurotic, but my brain just went crazy and went through every scenario possible.

Your brain can cause you to think of the most repulsive things, which I also happened to me this weekend. Your brain can somehow rationalize almost any action/thought to your moral self. It's amazing. And it's such a slippery slope. How do you stop it?

As Im sitting here there is a HORRIBLE storm outside my door. My neighbors have a windchime (which I HATE) and its making me go crazy. I literally feel like there is a mini tornado outside. Of course, my brain goes crazy and I immediately imagine myself in my bathtub in tornado position, imagining what it would be like in the midst of a tornado. I freak myself out beyond any logical thought.

It's insane. I know it's stoppable. I just hate that it gets out of control so fast!

Monday, May 07, 2007

can life get better?

I love my job.

a) Friday we went to the Children's museum in downtown Cincy. SO fun. No rocks were thrown at our bus, so that was a plus!
b) Tomorrow going to Miami U. Not quite sure what that's about, but we're outside Miami's campus all day doing science-y stuff, so I'm sure that will be awesome!
c) REDS game tomorrow night!!!! I love that people in my school want to go out on a school night and that we get to go see the REDS for cheap!
d) We get to go outside and read books, go on a hike and look for living/nonliving things and it is all included in the curriculum.
e) We ate pink cake for snack today.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

for Katy and TJ and Peter Parker

If you haven't see the movie...go see it. Now. It's good...
here's a little review of it from Lexis Nexis :)

"Spider-Man 3" is nothing if not eclectic, but somehow this ambitious mishmash works. Action-packed, with all the digital fireworks that a $250 million (or more) budget can buy, it's both the most grandiose chapter and the nuttiest. It's a love story in which Peter alienates the woman he loves and has to win back her trust. It's a Jekyll-and-Hyde battle for the soul of Spider-Man that turns on a dime from broad comedy into a quasi-religious parable about forgiveness and redemption. Even the scariest of the villains, like the malevolent Marko, turn out to have a redeeming human side. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone, implies this comic-book blockbuster. This is not the typical message of a kick-ass summer extravaganza, but Spider-Man has always swung to a different beat.

Just for KT - Sometimes, I feel like I have a black spidey suit on :)