i feel like...

Tuesday, February 27, 2007


I have strep throat. And I'm sad about it. And I need the world to care about me.

Is this maybe my way of being forced to stop? Perhaps. But I wish it didn't feel so bad.

I hope SO bad that if I have been around you the last few days I didn't get you sick - I am SO sorry if I did!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

shut down

So I have had a great week. I feel like I have SO much to process through and I'm really scared that my brain my shut down soon because it's getting on overload. Let me just tell you about some of the greatness I have experienced in less than 7 days:

1) Went to NYC with one of my bff's to see another bff from college. I am not sure I could love these two more than I do and the conversations that we have just encourage me and make me feel so loved. I need to process through a lot of stuff that we talked about. We also went to church there on Sunday night and the sermon just struck a chord that just excited me to think about.

2) Had some great convos with Lizzy B this week as well - it seems that she thinks parallel to me a lot of times - does that make sense? Just love that we are on the same wavelength.

3) All the first year teachers in Butler County had to go to this dinner/speaker thing on Thursday. We heard this motivational speaker lady who was extremely cheesy, but actually AWESOME. I got teared up a few times, but it made me just realize stuff about me.

4) Had a long overdue conversation with another bff that made me realize different things about me and my life and my way of relating with others and with God.

5) Got to spend a GREAT day on Saturday with some of my fave girls (minus my all time fave girl) at a Beth Moore conference. Beth has big hair and a totally different sense of style then anyone I have ever seen and she calls everyone precious, and baby, and sister, but I LOVE her. There was a lot that she said that I was like, man...that's going to take some time to grasp. I love being with people that have the same brain as me and I love experiencing stuff like that with great people.

6) Heard a great sermon by a great guy that was a great reminder of how much God loves me...its sort of inconceivable.

There is just a lot to go through. I need a month - I probably need a year or a lifetime. I will definitely take a day. Will you ask me in a week if I've set a day? Cause I don't want to shut down. I don't want to let this stuff go...I do that too much.
I know that ALL of these things are related...I know its not coincidental. Its just a lot. It's overwhelming me and I'm on the verge of shutdown.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


Another snow day? Seriously?

Gov. will you please say, don't worry about it? I can't give up any summer sun.

I just need summer.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


So as much as I am not loving being home from school and not able to do much, I saw one of the most AMAZING things ever today. So the snow sort of redeemed itself.
I was driving with one of my fave people on the planet (I am SO glad I was the passenger, not the driver) and I got to see a field of trees that were covered with ice. It was gorgeous. I love Christmas lights and this was WAY better than Christmas lights.

If you haven't seen these trees, you need to drive around 5pm, near trees, into the sunlight, and see how great it is. This pic doesn't do it justice.


I have another snow day today and I'm kinda....

What's up with that?

But I am PUMPED because this weekend I get to spend in NYC with two of my fave peeople on the planet! Can't wait :)

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!
I love you guys :)

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

What about that?

There is this show on tv right now called What About Brian? I dont love it, but I find myself still DVRing it every week. And I LOVE the opening song and the 30 seconds that they show all the people that play all the characters...I dont really know what that's called. I despise watching the opening credits and listening to every other show's "song." (Exception: Growing Pains)

Today I watched only the opening credits. Like twice. What is that? The song is something like, "Calling all friends..." and I want to find it on Itunes. The show reminds me a little bit like a Friends where these people have been best friends forever and their whole lives include each other. I LOVE THAT.

But I struggle with that because of how bad I want it. But then I get concerned that I make things "cliquey" because I want that community. So I'm in this debate of cliqueness, I guess. How do we establish real community - beyond surface, and beyond discussion of just the day to day? I've got that with some people in my life and I am not sure what I would do without them.

But how do we create real friendships with a group of people without excluding others? And how do we include everyone without keeping everything at the surface? I once again kinda want heaven. It just is.

Monday, February 05, 2007

show me that smile

So about one year and two days ago I was in Colorado with two of my best friends, Stef and Jill at a Young Life training conference. There was this rule in training that if your cell phone went off in class then you had to stand up on your chair and sing a song for 60 seconds. I LOVE karaoke, but in a room with 200 YL people is not a good karaoke audience, especially if its acapella. So Stef, being the awesome friend that she is, stole my phone FROM MY HOTEL ROOM, put my ringer on high, planted the phone in my coat poacket and called my phone in the middle of class. I turned it off fast enough the first time, almost threw up cause I got so nervous, then reamed Stef after class. Too bad the next day she did it again, but hid my phone so I couldn't turn it off fast enough. She's awesome. So I look like an idiot trying to get her to stand up and sing with me while she's like, What? It's not my phone. I didn't know what to do.

Last night I was watching the Super Bowl with some great friends and I started thinking about where I was a year ago watching the best game ever :) I was in an airport on the way home from Colorado, not even thinking about moving. I was set in staying in Altoona for 4 years and this year would have been my fourth. But Im in Cincy. I love it. I love my life. I love my friends, I love my job, I love my life.
I miss Altoona. I miss the girlies, I miss sharing a large diet Coke at the movies, I miss belting out Kelly, I miss Lucky dog, I miss planning for club and screaming browneyed girl with a bunch of high schoolers. I miss that.

Life is so funny. If you asked me a year and 2 days ago where I would have been I wouldn't have said Cincy. That happened later.

I was eating dinner tonight with my Mexican buddy Sarah and we were discussing why I moved here. Its sort of weird cause it was out of the blue and somewhat random but its what I felt was right.

I just can't imagine not knowing or not loving or not wanting to hang out every second with my friends that can fly planes, or my friends that run lots of miles, or my friends that can't drive, or my friends that speak such truth in my life, or my friends that have sick pix msgs sent to me and that I visit Alfredo with, or my friends that have CUTE kids and awesome aunts, or my friends with great hair that moved, or my friends with great hair that didn't move, or my friends who I just love. I wouldn't trade that for the world.

I love that I have gotten to go to high school with amazing people, lived and loved with amazing people in college, worked at the most beautiful place on the planet over one summer, lived in LaToona and made some of the best friends of life, and now it just stays awesome.

I love how well God knows me. Lots can happen in a year.