the great sin
I feel like the last few weeks I have been a crazy person. I get big time on the defense if someone judges my character or if I feel like they think something that's not true about me or I freak out when people see me mess up. I can't let things drop and I dwell on everything. I haven't been able to figure out what my deal is. I think its come down to the fact that my pride's been shot. My true colors have shown themselves.
Like 5 years ago Sean had us read "The Great Sin" chapter in Mere Christianity for leadership. That night it kicked my butt. I remember going home and reading that chapter in my book and highlighting the heck out of it. I read it again a few years later and double underlined some stuff. Last night I went to read it again and the same stuff that I underlined 5 years ago is still a HUGE problem for me. This is a never ending battle. This is always something we're going to deal with.
Here's some cool stuff from the chapter that is highlighted, underlined, and currently kicking my butt...
There is one vice of which no man in the world is free...pride
Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind
In God you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that and therefore know yourself as nothing in comparison - you do not know God at all. As long as you are proud you cannot know God.
The real test of being in the presence of God is that you either forget about yourself altogether or see yourself as a small dirty object. It is better to forget about yourself altogether.
The man who is truly humble will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.
and my favorite:
The point is, God wants you to know Him: wants to give you Himself. And he and you are two things of such a kind that if you really get into any kind of touch with Him you will, in fact, be humble - delightedly humble, feeling the infinite relief of having for once got rid of all the silly nonsense about your own dignity which has made you restless and unhappy all your life.
Like 5 years ago Sean had us read "The Great Sin" chapter in Mere Christianity for leadership. That night it kicked my butt. I remember going home and reading that chapter in my book and highlighting the heck out of it. I read it again a few years later and double underlined some stuff. Last night I went to read it again and the same stuff that I underlined 5 years ago is still a HUGE problem for me. This is a never ending battle. This is always something we're going to deal with.
Here's some cool stuff from the chapter that is highlighted, underlined, and currently kicking my butt...
There is one vice of which no man in the world is free...pride
Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind
In God you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that and therefore know yourself as nothing in comparison - you do not know God at all. As long as you are proud you cannot know God.
The real test of being in the presence of God is that you either forget about yourself altogether or see yourself as a small dirty object. It is better to forget about yourself altogether.
The man who is truly humble will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.
and my favorite:
The point is, God wants you to know Him: wants to give you Himself. And he and you are two things of such a kind that if you really get into any kind of touch with Him you will, in fact, be humble - delightedly humble, feeling the infinite relief of having for once got rid of all the silly nonsense about your own dignity which has made you restless and unhappy all your life.
posted by jmjana @ 11:12 PM
1 Comments:
At 7:25 AM,
Amulya said…
I wouldn't say it is a never ending battle, but it is something we will always have to deal with. In some way, to some extent. There will always be circumstances and events that test our pride, but as we grow in age and life experiences I would hope the ability to subdue our pride would grow as well.
As for now, just know you are not so alone in that feeling of defensiveness. It's only natural to want the world to see you at your best.
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