John the Bap

I wish I could be more like John the Bap (that's John the Baptist or JTB for all you nonabbreviation folks)
One of the stories that kicks my a in the bible is when JTB's walking down the street with his disciples and he's like, hey, there's jesus, leave me and go hang out with him. His WHOLE purpose of living was to prepare the way for Jesus. One of my favorite teachers at a training thing, Dale Bruner, would fall on his knees and point away from himself to demo how JTB lived. He talked about how he always pointed the focus away from himself and onto Jesus.
I think I suck at that.
I think consciously I'm like, oh yea, kid who I just told about Jesus, go follow him. Don't pay attention to me, I'm nothing, he's really the hot deal. Yes. Consciously I would say that but I wonder if I am saying that because that's the right thing to say.
I have taught campaigners on JTB maybe 14 times. I love it because it describes what our campaigner kids should be like - paving the way for their friends to know about Christ. It's what all of us should be about I think.
BUT subconsciously I think I want people to follow me. I look at a lot of the girls that I have led or mentored or just talked to about Christ a lot - and we did just that - we talked about Christ a lot. So I thought I was doing a really good thing, but I don't know if I was always pointing to Christ - I think I was always pointing to me with Christ. I dont know if this is going to make any sense, but I need to process it "outloud" to get some sort of grip on it.
I think in the process of me "mentoring" them I focused so much on spoon feeding them the right answers and guiding them through what it means to have a relationship with Christ in my experience that I missed showing them who Christ truly is. Their relationship with Christ is SO much more important than their relationship with me.
I saw the results of this today. I met with two of my favorite girls of life today and both of them (who were SO excited about Jesus like 2 months ago) were like, I'm not even really sure what I believe anymore. The fire just isn't really there like it was at the beginning. Which TOTALLY makes sense because when you meet Christ you're normally going to be on this spiritual high for awhile, and then reality sinks in and you're like, crap - this might be harder than i realized. But I think it was a little bit more than that. I think they were feeling that way because they were like, this really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Not that Jesus isn't all he's cracked up to be, but what I showed them about being with Jesus isnt all that great.
I kind of feel like this isn't making very much sense. I just really want my focus to be more on showing kids Christ than on showing them me with Christ - because me with Christ will fade, it gets boring, and it's not their lives. So part of me is SO glad that they are experiencing this disengagement because I know they'll come back around and be excited about Jesus. I know they will - I totally see it in them. And this time it'll be them with Jesus - and not me in the middle of them and Jesus. I hope its that way at least.
I just really want to be more like JTB - always pointing away from me and towards Jesus. I just think that it is so much harder than I realized...