stef's issues

So sometimes I feel like I have the gift of discernment. When I started college I was obsessed with it. I would look at people and be like, this happened to them when they were younger and this is why they are the way they are. I might not have ever talked to them in my life but I would analyze every little detail of what they would say and do and apply it to their past in some way. I feel like I was probably a bit annoying because I wouldn't always keep my thoughts to myself. I act like I have the same "gift" now. In working with high school kids, I look at them and what I know about their story and analyze why they are the way they are and adapt my relationship with them based on my conclusions. The girls I am close to always make fun of me because when they are telling me about problems with their friends they always quote me by saying "I know, look for the deeper issue." I ALWAYS try and find the deeper issue. I am usually quite good to. So now as I am out of college and perfecting my "issue finding" I find it a lot harder with people in my same stage of life. I always wonder why some of my friends are still single - what's their issue? and I wonder why some of my friends don't want to have babies - what's their issue? I wonder why some of them are so selfconcious - what's their issue?
One of the people who I love the most in my life is Stef. She was my roomate for all four years of college and I dont know if I can count on one hand the amount of real conversations we had in college. Most of them occured because of me having a crush on her exboyfriend and hanging out with him all the time (oops!). After those episodes our freshman year, not a ton was discussed and let me be the first to say we had LOTS of issues in our own lives and within our relationship as well.
Since graduation, we have had more real and hard conversations than probably I have ever had with anyone. I have ALWAYS tried to figure out her issues with her parents divorce, with the guys she dates, with the guys she's wanted to date, her house burning down, her working for Young Life, the list goes on and on. It's gotten harder. She seems more shut off. And now that we are more mature (maybe :)) she has become my personal conselor and the tides have changed to her figuring out my issues, which can be quite annoying when you're not expecting it or ready to deal with it. So I'm wondering if the tides have changed because she wants more control. She has shut down from most emotion in her life, if not all and she is now the one obsessed with figuring out everyone's issue. I'm not saying she is emotionless, she has a ton of compassion for people in her life, but when it comes to her own life, she is hardened. I'm struggling with what causes that.
Lately I have become stuck on different thoughts for days at a time. Last week I was obsessed with coming to a conclusion on whether or not we have to sin. This weekend I was obsessed with whether or not the internet can show true authenticity or if your own personal bias plays in while reading about others. Last night I was obsessed with what it means to die to your self and also lose your life to save it - Does that mean I am destined to Altoona forever? Today I am obsessed with Stef's issues. I want to make her crack. I want to help her to feel for herself again. Not because I want the control back in our relationship, but because I want to be her friend. You are truly blessed if you have the friends like I do. Who else knows ALL your junk and loves you more because of it besides Jesus?
Now I want you to go back and count how many times I used the word issues. Sorry bout that! I just loooooooooove to "talk" things out on here.
Love you guys.